It’s very early in the morning here. Couldn’t sleep well the whole night. We are missing a few members of our family who have gone back home. It’s always painful to see some of your own being culled and I am not in any mood for humour.
But, I am in a very respectful mood. I have new found respect for Bhookha Naan and his coterie of ill advisors. I mean, their insight into the game is par excellence. They can see things that us mortals just can’t. To begin with they select Shakespeare and Ganji Hanger for a T20 tournament. That itself was genius. And then they sack them after just one inning each. Being the ignorant fool that I am, I thought they played just as all of us had always expected them too.
But, I think Bhookha must have seen something that we couldn’t and suddenly realised that they do not fit in. I wish I could fall at their feet and pray for enlightenment. Tell me, Oh my Master, what did you see in those 2 innings that you hadn’t known all along? What startling revelation was caught by only your eyes and nobody else’s? Tell me, please tell me, your enlightened soul, how do I see things beyond what is obvious?
Unfortunately, for Shakespeare and Ganji Hanger they are genuinely nice blokes and are generally liked by everyone – within and outside the team. But look at the Bubblies. They
have played a master stroke. They have Appam Chutiya in the squad only to piss the opposition off. Imagine, you are all pumped up for the match, have worked out your strategies, and are looking forward to taking on the opposition. You reach the ground and the first sight is that of Appam Chutiya doing some strange break dance steps at the touch line. That’s enough to make every gut in your body cringe with revolt, enough to make every vein in your body burst open,
and every muscle in your body react to the extreme pungency. And right then and there, you have lost the match without even a ball being bowled. SUperb! Superb!
May be Shakespeare and Ganji Hanger need to learn some of those tricks to stay in the squad. But, it’ll take them some time to do so. Becoz “impression ek din mein nahin banta”.
A few hundred kms away, the Bevdaas have problems of a different kind. Their rock star Peter Ka Beta, now known as Re-Peter, is all set to repeat their performance of last season. In fact, they may go one step better this time. What else do u expect when you sign on a star, make him captain, allow him to play only a few matches, forgive him forgetting his own players’ names, have fun at ur expense and then return home with a fat pay cheque. Some guys have all the luck, don’t they?
Somebody please teach the new age cricket bosses, that building a cricket team is slightly different from selling liquor or masala movies. It takes time, patience, clarity of thought, a sense of belongingness, a common sense of purpose, a clear strategy and much more. It’s like nurturing a family. In team sport, the team is not the management that creates the product. The team IS the product. Create the product as if it’s your own baby. And it will give you pleasure for a lifetime!
I rest my case. Thank you.
P.S. The dirty work of informing the said players was left to the hired top management of the franchise, although the decision was taken by the Phoren Babas. Everyone’s been instructed to keep their mouths shut on the issue, including the sacked players. But let me tell you, the players have not taken this culling too lightly. Mangal Pandey is especially pissed off. So far things are very muted, but an implosion is definitely on the cards. Can’t tell you more as many players are involved, some of whom are good friends of mine.
P.P.S. Now we have 11 Indians from whom 7 will be selected and 9 foreigners from whom 4 will be selected. Ratios and Proportions have taken an entirely new meaning for me. I am learning soooo much on this tour that it’s not funny.
P.P.P.S. Initially, I was concerned as I thought they have been sacked on suspicions of being me. But when they spoke to all of us, I was relieved that it has nothing to do with Fake IPL.