We play today

We have just returned from our morning training session. It was a good session. Everyone turned up. And everyone was serious. Lord Almighty was as serious as I have ever seen. RDB was bowling short at him and at his rib cage. Lord handled it quite well, mostly. Once or twice he did get caught up with his technique though. Lord practiced his inside-out shot over cover a lot. I remember, way back in 2001, he had slaughtered an international pace attack in the one dayers hitting over covers for sixes. He knows he needs to stamp his authority over the team and the tournament. He wants to teach Dildo and the Phoren Babas a lesson for messing with him. Especially after the other two who form the troika with him scored 50′s yesterday guiding their respective teams to victory.

After the session, the new skipper gave us a pep talk. He talks well though, and seems committed. Our coach, the professor, is quite a bore. I just don’t understand what goes through that head of his. In fact, I don’t understand a word he says. But I like the new skip. He seems to be a good man. He wants to win. But I don’t think he knows my name yet. And the Lord… well… he smiled to me yesterday. I am not sure who’s side I will take. Well, whoever gives me a game in this IPL will have my loyalty forever.

Last night inauguration was quite a bore. I enjoyed the 2 songs performed by Snow Patrol and the laser show was ok. Rest of it was quite a bore. The players just stood in the middle chatting amongst themselves. Prince Charles of Patiala was cracking lewd and stupid jokes about the skimpily clad girls who were performing. And the fringe players in his team were laughing so loudly that I thought they will call off the ceremony because of that. Not that his jokes were funny. It’s just that you got to laugh at the boss’ jokes if you want to be in the side. Btw, the bevdaa who got out on duck yesterday almost hit the bottle after the ceremony before his team management wisked him away. I think they have put 3-4 bodyguards around him to keep him away from the bar…Hahaha… My former school team mate is playing with the Bevdaas. Before the opening ceremony I went up to him to congratulate him. Apparently, the Bevdaas owner Mr. Batlivala had sent him man into the dressing room between innings. And his displeasure with the batting display was conveyed in no uncertain terms to the team. Apparently, the threat was quite real. Also seen before the opening ceremony was our Lord Almighty in an intense chat with the Little Monster. I think he was venting his frustration with Vinnie Dildo and the Phoren Babas.

I think the Lord is under pressure. Our team for today is still not announced yet. But, I think it’s clear that Lord is playing and also opening. He will probably be joined by the Calypso King while the new skipper will come lower down. Strange decisions. If you don’t have the Lord as captain, no point keeping him in the team either. Coz he can’t outrun even a tortoise. If I am in, at least I’ll save some runs even if I dont score more than him. Anyway, thankfully the team doesn’t trust me to serve drinks or carry messages either. So, I will just put up my feet and enjoy a good game of cricket from the best seat in the stadium.

Will write again as soon as the team’s decided.

Cheers.

118 Responses to “We play today”


  • Hi….writing well. It is turning out good for me to keep visiting. Where do you think your loyalty is going ? You must get a chance given that the spinners are doing well….. Am I getting knotty ?S

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  • bevdaa is Ryder ?? he got out on zero and then was kicked out of team by batliwala which is that fucked up liquor baron..right ??? did u school friend represent the final 11?? Man if you are for real you watch out!

  • little monster? who is that?

  • u know what? as much as i love what you are writing..please be careful about how much you reveal about urself through those little clues you are leaving behind…if you are not caught already that is! :(

  • little monster must be the tasmanian devil, ricky ponting. good nick.

  • little monster = little master = sachin

  • if anyone has doubts about this blog being genuine then the inside detail of lordy practising the inside out shot should be complete proof.. that was the atrocious shot he was trying to play when he got out in the first game.. if this blog is a fake.. which i doubt.. then the writer is a master plotter and has a bright future in literary fiction..

  • i agree with the previous commenter here. amazing writing skills u got, dude… way to go!!… but in a scary kind’a way… dont risk yourselves too much.:)

  • > Btw, the bevdaa who got out on duck yesterday almost hit the bottle after the ceremony before his team management wisked him away.Jesse Ryder c M Rawat b D Mascarenhas 0 Ross Taylor b D Mascarenhas 0

  • This is one frusted ass****. Have the guts and say it in public

  • …….And the fringe players in his team were laughing so loudly that I thought they will call off the ceremony because of that…Cant stop laughing ..he he he he !! :D

  • “Prince Charles of Patiala(yuvi) was cracking lewd and stupid jokes about the skimpily clad girls who were performing. And the fringe players in his team were laughing so loudly that I thought they will call off the ceremony because of that. Not that his jokes were funny. It’s just that you got to laugh at the boss’ jokes if you want to be in the side.” Its really great man….. you’re rocking….

  • You must be Cheteshwar Arvind Pujara. But whoever u are, continue writing this blog and don’t get caught!

  • My former school team mate is playing with the Bevdaas. Before the opening ceremony I went up to him to congratulate him. –are you trying to impersonate CHETESHWAR PUJARA or is this you urself???—agtisgreat

  • I don’t think RDB is Ranadeb Bose. He plays for Punjab Xi not KKR. Wonder who is RDB, or maybe who ever is writing this blog slipped up, and did not realized that Ranadeb had moved to Kings Xi.

  • I don’t really care who u are or what u are but I enjoy ur blog posts more than I enjoy cricket.

  • haha, good one for catching the RDB slip-up. This is either a set up, as some are saying, but which is unlikely given the truly abusive language; or more likely some 18 year old kid writing this stuff from India. You can see there isn’t anything new about anyone, just the well-known rumours/stereotypes about people being rehashed here.

  • Here’s the scoop, the fake IPL player has been nabbed!! I’m the real IPL player providing him with the scoop. And since he’s hogging the limelight, I’m starting my own blog. Check it out at:

  • i think u r leing..vijay malya was in shangai with hsi f1 team while the opening match was on..so how come u saw him in cape town..

  • hi dude how cum RDB can bowl Lordy at d practice session, when he is not dere in KKR team only man!

  • hey some one posted the exact reason for the name vinnie dildo to the person it is referring to. Is it the name of the dog of another KHAN from bombay?- an act of retribution?

  • FAKE BLOGGGER ,RDB is in KXIP team ,so how will he bowl to LORDIE………..

  • maybe ur referring to charu sharma, not harsha

  • if RDB is playing for Punjab this sason – how come he is bowling to Ganguly in the nets ?

  • You are definetely CHATESHWAR PUJara…..you are int team && also u have gud relations with The lord almighty

  • Hi Shahrukh (IPL Anonymous)… Guys… I don’t know… But the King Khan is capable of anything… His thrills are quite different… This might just be him… The Biggest Publicity Scam of the decade… And Guys, in an anonymous scam such as this, it is often the most derided guy who ends up the perpetrator… Reverse psychology… All Hail the King! After all… He is, once again, conjuring gold from thin air… Converting all this hype into cash!!! The Alchemist! I pity all those who have fallen for this trap… I knew that 1 billion of us had a lot of fools… But not so many… Floody fools!!!

  • Income Opportunities

    Some of the names you come up with are interesting and creative too. You should be a professional columnist.

  • This must be aakaash chopra… He is a very good columnist..

  • RDB was bowling short at him and at his rib cage. Lord handled it quite well, mostly.RDB is now in Kings XI Punjab………He was bowling to Lordie in the nets….. R u sure it is this year u r talking about.I wonder how come they haven’t caught u yet…. with the hints u r leaving behind… it doesn’t need much brains….

  • OK Guys.Enough here.Check my own websitehttp://www.makmoon.com

  • Must say your sense of humor is great, full of pessimism and sarcastic ways which you very well acknowledged in first post. Probably you are looking for a career change since cricket doesn’t seem to be going your way. Good luck man ;)

  • sanjay bangar..yep i think it’s you!

  • Can someone please tell me what the 2 sngs were that Snow Patrol sang. The one was Chasing Cars but what was the other one

  • Good Names ..Oye Babbli….

  • Get the ‘Fake IPL Player : The Book’ on : or Find the link in the ‘WHAT’S HOT’ section of the sidebar.

  • The Language, style and the character naming is purely artistic. You are a writer. And my guess is you are Chetan Bhagat. There is a person who gives you the titbits Chetan that you draft this blog so captivating as your novels.Reason for these findings. I am sure nobody would have the audacity to write in and around the place where the action is happening.

  • Its really a interesting and innovative blog that you have made and has all the excitement and fun stuff. Please publish a glossary of acronymns used so that everyone of us would like to revisit your work once again to find out how much it matches our guess. Would’nt that be exciting ?

  • I’ve been waiting for a feature like this! Yesterday while I was listening to a nostalgic tune from high school I thought to myself, “I wish I could share this with my HS friends on my FB page”, and now I can.

    Thanks for the update! Looking for more integration in the future.

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