Yet another game. Yet another spectacular display. And we find ourselves with most games under our belt and least points to show for it. In fact, we are the only team who has lesser points than games played. Now beat that guys!
As a reward for our performance (and also to spare you guys the torture), the organisers have given us 4 days off. That means no early flight to catch, no early morning training sessions, lots of sleep (& sleeping around for the hopeful souls), time spent in the pool, shopping, bitching around. Suddenly, life seems livable again.
Can’t quite understand our performance in the field though. For 24 hours before the match, all we did was field, field and field. We fielded in the outfield, we fielded in the infield, we fielded under lights, we fielded over lights. We caught so many balls through the day that some of the boys were in serious danger of injuring themselves as they went for the balls even in their sleep. And look what it translated to during the game.
Before the game, we had a pep talk from Deputy Coach. All he talked about was fielding. And in some ways, he seemed to refer to us desi boys when talking about sloppy fielding. While we are certainly not the best fielders in the world, most of our young boys are as good as any, and I thought this was a little unjustified. And as our desi boys were doing us proud on the field, overrunning the ball, slipping clumsily, throwing wild, we were all squirming in our seats. From the corner of my eyes I noticed the coaches exchanging ‘all-knowing’ glances. And then, Skipper himself grassed a sitter. I, like some others on the bench, heaved a sigh of relief. At least now we won’t be singled out. This time though, the coaches just stared at the field blankly. No look, no expression, no smirk. By the end of the game we had shown the world what an equal opportunity team we are. Irrespective of nationality, caste, colour, creed, everyone in the team had dropped catches. Wow! Talk about team spirit.
If dropping catches wasn’t embarassing enough, our young boy Bubaan not only dropped a catch, he also showed half the stadium behind us his white cotton ‘andar ki baat’ while doing so. Dildo is furious at this gross indecent exposure. He feels this one act of negligence has caused more harm to our reputation than all our defeats put together. What’s the point of spending so much money on designer jerseys if players wear their nadavalas under them? We have been told that, as per Dildo’s orders, each of us will get 500 Rands to buy better looking jockeys. Good news for all of us, with the exception of Buddhiman Baba who is now a nervous wreck. He has been informed that in all of Africa they don’t make jockeys his size.
Most of us are perplexed as to why Bangla Tiger is still warming the bench. Does Bhookha think that the wibbly wobblies will win us matches? I am sure Bhookha doesn’t have attitude issues with Bangla, so all I can assume is that Bhookha’s not aware of what all he can do in the field. So far Bangla hasn’t questioned Bhookha on his exclusion and the rest of us aren’t authorised to ask. Lordie, the only guy who can question if he wants to, doesn’t really care any more and has absolutely nothing to say in team meetings or training sessions. He is just going through the drills. And outside of the ground, he hangs around with his old pals in other teams.
After the loss against the Bubblies, most of us were hurt and angry. So near, yet so far. Some of us thought that the umpire had lost it for us. After yesterday’s loss, it’s almost like we have been numbed. It doesn’t hurt anymore. We have accepted this as our fate. Not that we were dancing in the ailes, but in the team bus we were quietly going about our own thing. No blame game, no analysis paralysis, nothing that would show that this matters to us anymore.
After the game Chhota Chetan was telling Little John that he feels we will spoil any one team’s semi final chances. And since they play us again in Jo’burg in a few days, he is sceptical if we decide to pull the plug in that one game. I think Chhota has read it quite well. In one match, skipper’s bound to fire and win the game on his own. And that unlucky team will lose out on the semis, purely as God’s punishment for losing to the losers.
Most of us went out for dinner together last night. Word has it that our team sponsors are asking very uncomfortable questions. Some of the sponsors are threatening to pull out their ads with our team featuring in them. The heat has been put on Boy George. Dildo’s asking him to justify almost every decision he has taken through the year. Every expense is now being scrutinised. I think the ground work is on for some heads to roll by the time we return to India.
U ROCK!!! Seriously I’ve never read anything as funny as this! Do continue!!
BubbanChota Chetan-Lady Jaya- JayawardeneGhati Baba- Rohit SharmaCastro- Fidel edwardsSpringbok- Charl Langeveldt??? Morne Van Wyk?Deeghra Patan-Irfan pathanP.E.Arnold Power- Ramesh PowerVinnie Dildo/ Badsaah Dildo – Shah Rukh KhanKishen Kanhaiyya – Ravi ShastriLord Almighty /Lordie- GangulySheikh of Tweak / Sultan of tweak – Shane WarneBevdaa – Jessie RyderBig Sister – Shilpa ShettyLittle Sister-Shamita ShettyCalypso King – GayleMr. Batlivala – MallayaPrince Charles of Patiala – Yuvraj SinghAila/Little Monster/ Little Master – SachinPedophile Priest – GilCHRISTLittle John/ India’s best fast bowler – Ishant SharmaKaan Moolo /Former India fast bowler who will remain a former India fast bowler -AgarkarAppam Chutiya – SreesanthPhoren babas – McCullum & BuchananBhookha Naan-BuchananRDB – Ranadeb BoseMira Bhai – Harbhajan SinghSandy Baddy Babe – Mandira BediCandy Nickle- Andy Bichel- bowling coach of KKRMangal Pandey- Lakshmi Ratan ShuklaBhookha/bhookha Naan- BuchananBoy George- Brad Hodge?? Or Joy Mukherjee?Gilli danda- Ashok DindaStyle bhai –Murali kartikBangla Tiger- MortazaBengal Tiger- Ranadeb BosePeter ka beta/ Re-peter- PetersonJunta- Ajanta MendisShakespeare- Aakash Chopra??Ganji Hangar- Sanjay BangarPrince/ Prince Charles of Patiala /Prince of Patiala = Yuvraj-YuvraajRVR Sing/ Pamela Inder Singh, – VRV SinghSheeghra –Patan= Yousuf PathanAkram Azam- KamranReserve Keeperkeeper- wriddhiman saha??Chintu singh- anurit singh?Big Mac- Matthew hayden?Joker/Anchor-?Very very special friend Ram = VVS LaxmanMr Batliwala-Vijay MallyaSparrow / parrott = McGrathKiwi coach- Stephen Fleming?Bewdaas-Royal Challenger BloreBubblies- Kings IX PunjabThe Rajputs = RRDhakkans- Deccan
I have a feeling that the superstion of naming Kolkata knight riders (did it emanate from srks lover boy with a k fixation?) with a K was not complete – it should have been kolkatta knight kings
Vinnie Dildo is nothing different from a Tawaiff or a Hijda who dances at public gathering for money.He is so obsessed with money that he hired loads of Pakistani players last year to expand the market for his films and shows in Pakistan. This year since Pakistani players were not around, he hired Mortaza to expand his market in Bangladesh.Dick-less, spine-less hijda of Bollywood is a no-hoper. He cannot act. Fucking hams. He takes panga with Amitabh Bachchan, Amar Singh, Aamir Khan, Salman Khan and now Sunil Gavaskar. Randi Khan, Amar Singh se thappad to mila hi tha, tujhe Salman se bhi pitna chahiye tha.Randi Khan, you cannot act like Aamir, you don’t have the physique like John/Salman, you cannot dance like Hrithik and you do not have the comic timing or stunts like Akshay. You call your “Badshah” and sing from roof tops “I’m the best”. Infact, you are worse than Appam Chutiya! Atleast, Appam takes wickets for India.You fucking Randi Khan, how dare you humiliate India’s best captain Saurav Ganguly and how dare you side-line him? If there is an icon in IPL, it his him! But you Buchanan-cock sucker Dildo Khan, took panga against him too.And Randi Khan, you don’t even do your own stunts like Akshay does and you, ball-less, dick-less asshole, have the audacity to challenge India’s greatest Test Batsman, Gavaskar’s cricketing knowledge. He is one of the shrewdest cricketing brains in India. Mind you, he didn’t wear helmets and didn’t use stunt doubles to face ferocious fast bowlers from WI while scoring 13 Test tons against. Das re-take leke to randi bhi dance kar sakta hai, mard ka bachha hai aur lauda hai to Ishant Sharma and Zaheer Khan ko bina helmet ke face karke bata, saale Randi Khan.Jaake Karan Johar ka land choos, saale bhadwe SRK!
U know one reason why the boys r not getting inspiration is bcos of cheerleaders…THEY ARE FULLY DRESSED!!! As if they r coming from a gym. Reduce their hemline and introduce mammary land..then see fever go up
Next time introduce cheer boys 
Dildo will be present for all matches. Btw I have heard that dildo wears butt pads. Is it true?? Hit him and see mannn
Dude,You can track the location of the guys visiting your blog by linking this URL to you blog. It gives you a lot of statistical info http://feedjit.com/join/
She is really fake one. she is more interested in knowing how popular this blog is. I dont know how ppl find so much of time to scribble all this. She might be sombody thrown out of job recenlty, a journalist i guess.Complete wastage of time reading this piece of shit
Nice Blog you are writing Sreesanth………!!!!
Thanks a ton Mr.FIP for entertaining us so much.Its fun the way you play with words,wish your team could play some good cricket as well.Your blog is the sole reason why many of have actually grown to like the KKR.Feel sorry for them actually.P.s : of the many apt names which you’ve created,Appam is the best
http://appamsreesanth.blogspot.com/
Friend…..u r blog is interesting day by day. Its truelly innovative and puts lime lights on dirty fractionism within a team and their menaces. Funny narrative makes its special. As shit khan (shahrukh) is having sleepless nights in mumbai , we r having sleepless nights waiting for new posts in ur blog. Awesome work and keep it up. We are with u.As far as kolkotta night mares are concerned they are done and out now. Funny that shit khan interested in ‘something sticky’ looks like their ‘night mares ‘ will continue even for next year ( second innings!! ). It was a talented team but dildo made a mess out of it , also thanx to the Ceo ‘s and cfo’s of the team , I think next year they need 11 ceo’s one for each player. Bull shit , they thought cricket is some management stuff with high end gadgets and also fancy stuffs ( lion cartoons on ground suck!! ) . His masala movie terribly failed , next year he may think of hiring jobless subash ghai or chopras .Ganguly should get chance next year , or else some talented new comer but no foreign ‘shits ‘ . Looks like bevdaas back to form and also mumbai Indians. Royal challengers are much gel’d as a team , and despite having lack of talents ( say biggies ) , they perform exceptionally well. But the sight of middle aged woman like shilpa makes the team bit terrible!!. Even bublies are concerned with their semi final birth , and their half aged(oops sorry middle aged ) and half boiled mentor preity zinta cheering at ‘appam chutiya ‘ and breast man Vvr singh isawsome . Instead of these middle aged actresses and actors , its nice to see some young people in the crowd and also in some team management . Say deccan chargers or even royal challengers. Keep up the good work
Fantastic stuff…..Divine and Inspirational as usual.If you haven’t yet, you should try your hand behind the mic, not the way the older Lil’ master does by jerking off on his so called qualities of aggression, positive attitude and being a team player. When finally enlightened, Bhokaanan realized that laptops can make you look like a dick if you do not know how to use them, and so he has decided to outsource this business of complex calculations. I hear Satyam is bidding for this business….I also think that KKR must solicit the advice of Didi Banerjee and her party spokesperson Dick ‘O Brien for the next edition ‘cos most of the public angst invariable always arises from these quarters. At least that way the entertainment value off the pitch does not wane in case Dildo sulks the next time.Wonder why you have been giving the CSK a long rope…..
who is bubaan?
Bubban is Arindam Ghosh
HI BRO ….oooppss…FIP…Great going mate..!!!Well i think you need to take over the regins from bhooka and the skipper and present your resume to Dildo as a better replacement for both….Coz i'm sure you'll do an excellent job both as a coach and skipper of the KKR 11…Coz the only STICK or BAT that will work for improving the KKR 11's fortunes is your verbal ornamentation that you bestow on the KKR players's characters on your blog…which i suppose is feared the most among the Dildo's team….and not to surprise many … Dildo's bat is second best in regards to screwing up their charachter ….lol!!!I'm a fan of yours for giving such eccentric names to the IPL fraternity….rwl(rolling with laughter)…APPAM CHUTIYA>>>KISHAN KANIHYA>>>KAAN MOOLO>>>CHIRKUT TELI>>>DILDO>>>GANJI HANGAR..to name a few of the many named…lolYous style of writing is simply fanatstic or shud i say..FANTABULOUS…Bro please try ur luck in Bollywood Story or Script Wrting…U WILL BE A BIGGER HIT THAN IPL when it comes to verbally and morally degrading someone and making them realise that one is not worth even a penny..You will give SALIM JAVED and the so called Story writers and Script writer's Escoteric Society A good run for their money…Your humorous style will add a new dimension to the otherwise sad comedy movies which cant think beyond the Munnabhai Dialogues and David Dhawan Flicks….!!!PLEASE THINK OVER IT..This seems to be a better option rather than warming the KKR bench…you can earn multiples of what u r earing today and someday may come up with ur own IPL Team and give a Head ON to Dildo(provided if KKR still remains in business till then)..Bubllis…Bevadaas etc.And please let us know ore abt the SEXPEDITIONS Of Shaikh..Bubli..Liitle Sis…Big Sis..cool Dude..Pussy..kishan Kanahiya..big mac with his big bat….!!!KEEP POSTING!!! You ROCK
HI BRO ….oooppss…FIP…Great going mate..!!!Well i think you need to take over the regins from bhooka and the skipper and present your resume to Dildo as a better replacement for both….Coz i'm sure you'll do an excellent job both as a coach and skipper of the KKR 11…Coz the only STICK or BAT that will work for improving the KKR 11's fortunes is your verbal ornamentation that you bestow on the KKR players's characters on your blog…which i suppose is feared the most among the Dildo's team….and not to surprise many … Dildo's bat is second best in regards to screwing up their charachter ….lol!!!I'm a fan of yours for giving such eccentric names to the IPL fraternity….rwl(rolling with laughter)…APPAM CHUTIYA>>>KISHAN KANIHYA>>>KAAN MOOLO>>>CHIRKUT TELI>>>DILDO>>>GANJI HANGAR..to name a few of the many named…lolYous style of writing is simply fanatstic or shud i say..FANTABULOUS…Bro please try ur luck in Bollywood Story or Script Wrting…U WILL BE A BIGGER HIT THAN IPL when it comes to verbally and morally degrading someone and making them realise that one is not worth even a penny..You will give SALIM JAVED and the so called Story writers and Script writer's Escoteric Society A good run for their money…Your humorous style will add a new dimension to the otherwise sad comedy movies which cant think beyond the Munnabhai Dialogues and David Dhawan Flicks….!!!PLEASE THINK OVER IT..This seems to be a better option rather than warming the KKR bench…you can earn multiples of what u r earing today and someday may come up with ur own IPL Team and give a Head ON to Dildo(provided if KKR still remains in business till then)..Bubllis…Bevadaas etc.And please let us know ore abt the SEXPEDITIONS Of Shaikh..Bubli..Liitle Sis…Big Sis..cool Dude..Pussy..kishan Kanahiya..big mac with his big bat….!!!KEEP POSTING!!! You ROCK
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