Rest in pieces

Published on May 23, 2009 in IPL 2009 and Latest. 834 Comments

It ain’t over till it’s over folks. I was all set to rest in peace after my ‘don’t tell all’ video, but the ferocity of comments has shattered my rest to pieces and compelled me to return for this one last post for this IPL season. I can take anything you guys hurl at me, but the line needs to be drawn somewhere. You can call me anything you want and I won’t mind a bit, but one particular anonymous commenter simply crossed the final frontier of my tolerance by calling me Bishen Singh Bedi. Even the guy who called me Himesh had some sense level of decency, although how he recognised Himesh without a mike held at a precise 47.5 degree angle is a little hard to understand.

If you are still reading this post after my obituary, I assume that you are amongst the 37% of readers who have enjoyed the blog in the right spirit, have contributed to the quality of the blog with your intelligent, witty comments and constructive criticism. I hope I am safe to assume that all the Mr. Anonymous’ and Ms Anonymous’ who started and continued inane & immature discussions in the comments section won’t find this blog interesting enough after the last video post. Also, given that the popularity of the blog should now be about 37% of what it was a week ago, I am reeeaaallllyyyy hoping that bleedin’ spammers like rahul and makmoon (I refuse to promote your site by adding the dot com, you idiot) will find some other more lucrative havens. Finally, the brave hearts would have signed off from this coward’s blog by now. It’s better to have lesser people on the site anyway.

I thought our own FIP Awards may be a good way to end the season. Given below is my list. Feel free to add your own categories and awardees in the comments section based on what you have seen, read or heard. I’ll compile a final list of Awards in the next post. Leave your names so I can include the contributor names in the final listing. What say, guys?

FIP Awards

Best Night Rider Award:
Sheikh (for obvious reasons)

Best Batsman of Leg Spin/Googly/Flipper:
The guy who hangs around Big Sister for managing to hold on to his prized wicket in the face of a fierce onslaught by the Sheikh himself

‘Highest’ Scorer Award:
Little John

Saala Slimeball Award: Dildo

Award for Contribution to Indian Cricket:
Saala Slimeball for running the IPL that’s made sure that Prince will never captain India

Appam Chutiya Award:
Prince of Patiala, jiska Cool Dude ne phir chutiya kaat diya

Har Bhajan Award:
Appam Chutiya for slapping FIP with that one magic ball to Cool Dude

Kaan Moolo Award:
Kaan Moolo

British OBE:
Bhookha Naan for the 21st century version of divide and rule

Astrologer of the Year:
Chatterjee Kaku

Naukri.com Career Shift Award:
The numerologist who advised our team name change

LIC Retirement Benefit Plan Award:
Sparrow

Houdini Fastest Disappearing Act Award:
Dildo

Cyrus Memorial Bakra Award:
Skipper

Kingfisher Free Miles Award:
Our entire team

Greenpeace Award for Environment Consciousness:
Bevdaa for saving water

Colgate Last Laugh Award: Phoren Babas

One last thing. Trying to guess my identity or calling me fake are both exercises in futility. In time you shall know that in the cricketing world there’s the known, there’s the unknown, and somewhere in between is FIP.

834 Responses to “Rest in pieces”

Feed for this Entry Trackback Address

Leave a Reply