Teri Maa Ki (TMK) went out drinking and skipped training again. So, what? After all, his name is Teri Maa Ki and with a name like that you don’t expect him to behave like Vengirapu Venkata Sai Laxman.
Come on, let’s be honest here. The Dicks knew exactly what they were getting into when they picked him in the squad. All that the Dicks’ captain Dickhead hoped for is that TMK will stay out of major trouble like hanging from the hotel chandelier or running around naked. For the first few days though he was as good a Dickland citizen as is possible. He hardly ever spoke which meant hardly any profanities came out of his big mouth. But, it was also clear that he was climbing a very weak tree. The silent treatment he was giving everyone, especially the team’s vice-captain Pomeranian Pilla, wasn’t going down very well with people. But you can’t sack someone just because he isn’t speaking, can you?
So, what is the real problem. The real problem is something called Slot No. 4. A few days ago, Pilla had a heated argument with Dickhead on the batting order. Dickhead didn’t want Pilla in the middle order. He was clear that it’s either the opening slot or the bench. His choices for No. 4 and 5 were TMK and Pussy. Pilla wasn’t keen on opening and argued with his skipper on the issue. Eventually, it was agreed that Pilla will bat at No. 4 in the warm up game and his form will be assessed. During all this while, TMK kept quiet but wore a stupid smirk that annoyed Pilla no end. And as things turned out, Pilla did what he had to and earned his spot, while TMK sat around padded up watching his rightful place being snatched from him yet again. And true to his reputation, he went out drinking and during the binge he wasn’t quite discreet about his opinion of Pilla and the Dicks’ coach. Essentially, he put his Size 13 foot into his Size 1 mouth. And when you do that, it sure is gonna hurt.
Today, the team management confronted an unapologetic TMK. Dickhead still wanted a reconciliation and was hoping that the matter will blow over. But he was fighting a battle against Pilla and the Coach. Eventually, Pilla threatened that if TMK isn’t packed off, he will. The matter and the threat was reported to the Dickland’s CEO who then decided that TMK will return immediately. Most people in the team believe that TMK is going back partly because of himself, but mostly because of the No. 4 slot.
P.S. I am hoping that after this post, my friends in Delhi will finally learn that it’s not called Pomarian. And while I am at it I might as well tell them that it’s not called Labradog either.