Confusion reigns Al-Pakeezah
True to their name, the Weapons of Self Destruction – Al Pakeezah – are at it again. Captain No-Use Khan (earlier known as Bhindi) and Coach are arguing and babbling like 2 teenaged girls fighting over one guy. Their team meeting before the all-important game against the Oranges was all about the two of them contradicting each other, giving arguments countering the others’ point of view, and trying to prove who’s the boss. Basically, confusing the hell out of the rest of the 14 guys, who’s combined IQ doesn’t add up to 140. Imagine the plight of people like Kumar Bull. God gave them enough brains to just about follow one simple point of view. They are used to intructions like “Take ball, bowl at stumps”. Any extra information leads to wides and no-balls. Now they are in the highly unenviable position where they need to decipher an argument, understand what makes sense and then decide their own course of action. For this bunch of AK-47s, this is as tough a task as sending Man to Moon.
To summarise the arguments between captain and coach: No-use Khan wants the failed warlord to open, the coach doesn’t. Coach wants Mr. Missed-Bah-5-Runs to bat at 4, No-use doesn’t. No-use wants Left-arm-grenade-hurler to play, Coach doesn’t. No-use Khan wants Kumar Bull to open the bowling (or balling as he calls it), Coach doesn’t. No-use Khan wants Yasir Fatafat out, but Coach wants him in. All-in-all, the team’s approach is quite representative of their country’s in this case.
All of them have already come to terms with their future in the Championships. And now, many of them are eyeing the captaincy of the side. No-Use Khan has decided to give an ultimatum to his board to choose between him and the coach. He may resign from captaincy after they return to their country. He has years of experience to fall back upon, after all he has quit captaincy more number of times than he has led his country.
The Coach is backing Mr. Missed-bah-5-Runs as the captain. His argument being that he is intelligent, well-behaved, educated and speaks better English than No-Use Khan. At least he won’t make a fool of himself at the post-match interview even if performances on the field don’t change much.
Failed warlord is also eyeing the captaincy. He is proposing the idea of 2 separate captains for test matches and limited overs cricket. As if the team wasn’t confused enough already. The coach has told him to bide him time for the captaincy. After all, he has all the time in his hands. Last I heard, he was still 21 yrs old.
Am off to Lord’s now to see who’s calling the shots for this match – Captain or Coach. Or would they adopt a compromise formula where the Captain has his way with 2 decisions and the coach has his way for the others? We’ll know very soon.
Comments
FIP Maakey Laurdey, kuch naya likh na… Saley main bore ho raha hoon, bhardwey ki aulad! Nayi taazi khabar kia hai Indian Camp ki? Paki? SAF? Lankan & WI? Margaya kia kahin?? Harami sala FIP!
Kisi ki choot mein tu apni jeeb to nahi dey raha hai. Dekhna wo paad na dey! Agar Tamil hua to RDX terey mu mein aa jaeyga. India Girl hui to khatti hogi. Raj hua to kisi ka semen hoga kiunki wo gay hai na… Punjabi hua to ghee nikleyga. Hahaha…
FIP Bhosrdi key, tu hai na pakka harami & gaddar. KKR mein tu tha; abi London mein bhi; aur agey kahan kahan jaeyga? Kitni Blues ki maa bhen tu chudwaeyga?
Tendulkar kiun mu chupa key bhag raha hai WI janey sey – bata na?? Haarney se wo darta to nahi budha kutta Sachin!
Ganguli, Lax, Rahul ko… wapis laney ka na re baba ODI mein.
Dhoni ko rest do. Jaey wo shave karey, shadi karey, add shoot karkey phir FIP ya kisi Paki gi GAND mein shoot karkey aur Dada phir sey lead karey. Mangta hai kia? Joi nai agree karta hai uski maa kaun… RANDI hai!
FIP tu sala HARAMI hai kaun. Indian hi hoga… Gaddar jo hai. East or West Paki is the best.
Ab Indian behnchods Paki go gali denggey aur Paki maadarchod Indians ko aur ham Gora log maza lengga…
Waatch bhindi movies. Punjabis are producing prostitues in every house. Bangganguli of kolkatta are bhardwas. Pakistanis are… inko to bolna hi beykaar hai…
Sab eik awaz mein bolo… FIP ki maa bahen ki chootss mein SRK key pathan baap ka Lauda!
Hindoos ki maa ki choot mein punjabion da lauda! Laloo Prasad manmohan singh sey chudwata hai apni gaand.
All hindoos are fucked up hyped up ass holes. Wanna challenge my opinion?
Tell me you hindoo bastuuurds, how many children your Sheeva Rapist bhaagwaan has? You will say 2 – Kuttey waley mu (Ganasha) and Murugan aka (MURUGANdu). You will hide about his 3rd son. Yes, you will. If you dont know your mother or pundit wont tell you.
Sheeva's 3rd son is Ayyappaaa. Of course they have different names in different cities. His templlles and prayers gather millions in south india.
Next question, who is Ayaaappaaa's mother. Surprise, surprise. Is is Sree CKrisshna the playboy bastuurd.
Was this a gay marriage? Then how the baby came about? Ckrishna change autar, became a girl and Sheeva rapped him/ her in the jungle. He did not tell them that Sheeva will be ahsamed so he/she let Sheeva continue to rape him.
After the incident, the moron could not change to become a boy back because he/ she was pregnant. 9 months later Ayyaapppaa came out.
Go ask you pundit of the hold story of the 3rd son of Sheeva the rapish maderchod!
If you find this to be true, change your fake religion. Stop drinking cow piss. Start learning urdu. It is phir not fir, you ass holes.
Bhindie movies are famour because 98% is speaking urdu not hindi. Can tell me 1 fuqin song which does only have hindi words, no urdu? You dont say dhaneywaad… you keep on saying shukria.
Why? Because you asss holes are dam fuqed up. Borm moron.
Behnchod Pakis gone to final? How? This can not happen to these ass hole team. Where are blues – oic… makin blue films with their mothers, aunts, granny, betiya, bahu and their annimals.
Now, sab milkey eik awaz mein bolo… FIP ki maa ki phateyli choot mein SRK dey pio di bhains da kaal lauda aur FIP ki bahen ki phateyli phuddi wich Hanu-man de bandad la lauda!
main kaun – james bond 007!
ya no new stuff but its funny anyway.
There was this guy who believed very much in true love and decided to take his time to wait for his right girl to appear.
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