Let’s get it straight

Some of us learnt quite early in our lives that, even in an emergency situation, you don’t piss in your backyard. In fact, you scale the wall and piss in your neighbour’s backyard. But, never in your own. Unfortunately, some people didn’t learn that. Even more unfortunate is that they ended up joining the Indian news media.

Why else would you have the entire Indian news contingent trying to create a problem where none exists? There’s absolutely nothing wrong with the Blues and there are no camps or anything of that sort. The only pretender to the throne was the Prince of Patiala, who has also accepted his fait accompli after IPL. As far as the Kakdi-Sheru situation is concerned, Sheru’s shoulder is not match ready. The only point of contention was whether he should stick around with the squad hoping that his shoulder will recover towards the second half of the tournament or not. Sheru felt that he could stick around and Kakdi didn’t. Kakdi also feels that Sheru didn’t completely disclose the extent of his injury and isn’t quite happy about it. Eventually, given the form that Ghati Baba has shown in the tournament, the team management decided that Sheru will be eased off. And that’s where I think the matter, and Sheru, should rest.

But one thing’s for sure. This thing’s really got the cucumber boiling. His reactions these days are less like the Captain Kakdi aka Cool Dude that we know & love and more like the Lordie, whom also we know & love. We have all seen him in press conferences recently. But yesterday, some of us were privy to a rather un-Kakdi like reaction. Rain had delayed the start of the game. Kakdi was on the balcony, his usual, easy going, jovial self. Until, one spectator from down below shouted, “Kakdi, Sheru ko kya hua”. Looks tell a story, but Kakdi’s look was telling an epic. The pictures show him before the jibe from the spectator (top pic) and after (bottom pic. Kakdi is in the background as he moved back after the comment/question). I think it’s best for our team that we stop this nonsense and support them in whatever way we can.

Teri Maa Ki’s (TMK’s) ghost refuses to leave the Dicks. Three of their sponsors – Victoria Better, Johnnie Runner and Wolf Bass – all alcohol brands if you have noticed, have joined hands and are asking the Dickland Board some uncomfortable questions. Was TMK drunk or was he ‘just drinking’? If he was ‘just drinking’, is it really that big a crime and is this the message they are sending to the sponsors’ consumers? After all they have no qualms about taking money from Alcohol companies, wearing their logos on their chests, and actively encouraging the rest of the world to hit the bottle, then why this hypocrisy? The question that the rest of the world is asking is why is a Dicklander being punished for being a Dick?

The Blues play tomorrow. Seeing them go about their work yesterday, a few things are pretty clear. No-Braina had walked out of the pavilion with the openers and walked straight into the dug out. So, if a wicket falls within the first 6 overs, No-Braina would go in at No. 3. After the first 6 overs, we saw a padded up Kakdi walking into the dug out. So, if the first wicket falls after the 6th over, he comes in at No. 3 and nudges his way through the innings, which is a good thing cos he can’t hit those big ones these days anyway. And the XI that played yesterday is the ‘A’ team for the tournament. No changes are expected unless there are some serious form or injury issues.

It’s been a hectic 3 days. Tuesday at Lord’s, Wednesday early morning train to Nottingham. 2 days, 4 matches and no internet access in Nottingham. Train ride back to London, which is where I am now. Thankfully, I stay in London till Tuesday when I head back to Trent Bridge for the Blues’ last Super Eight game. The Championship’s now in the real stage. Hopefully, we’ll see some kick-ass action. And while the world’s best cricketer’s slug it out, the Limp Dicks hang around in cold, windy, rainy Leicester…doing nothing. Serves them right, as most would say.