Who says he owns the Chennai Super Kings?

Originally published in the Mirror Click here

Ladies and gentlemen, it’s time to formally welcome the new BCCI president Mr. N Srinivasan who has confirmed that there is absolutely no conflict in his interests as far as managing the BCCI, Chennai Super Kings (CSK) and India Cements is concerned.

In a series of television interviews he said it’s not him but India Cements that owns CSK, thereby conforming to the great BCCI tradition of under-declaring, best exemplified by one of his illustrious predecessors Mr. Sharad ‘TwelveCrore’ Pawar.

Mr. Srinivasan, of course, has absolutely no control over CSK through India Cements, a company for whom he is the Managing Director, Vice Chairman, Chairman of Share Transfer Committee, Chairman of Compensation Committee, Member of Shareholders/Investors Grievance Committee, Member of Audit Committee, Member of Remuneration Committee, Executive with the highest compensation and, as per a Financial Express report on May 6 2010, its “only promoter”.

With role models at the top, can anyone really blame the Indian team not going past 300 in tests? In fact, there are reports that, toeing the under-declaring culture, Dhoni would have declared at 299 anyways.

These are the kind of opportunities Mr. Lalit Modi waits with bated breath for in his undisclosed location in London. Soon as Mr. Srinivasan’s TV interviews were over, Mr. Modi started tweeting pictures of IPL accreditation cards (the ones they hang around their necks) of Mr. Srinivasan and his family which mentions them as ‘Owners’. How many people in the world do you know who’d keep pictures of others’ accreditation cards? It’s foresight such as this that makes Mr. Lalit Modi Superman, albeit without a cape and with his underwear where it’s supposed to be.

In his defence, Mr. Srinivasan claimed that the word ‘Owner’ printed on the card only meant that he owned that particular accreditation card and not CSK.

To further prove his point, Mr. Modi, then, spent the next one hour tweeting pictures of Mr. Srinivasan, his wife, daughter, son-in-law, lawyers, auditors, and managers of India Cements, all in CSK T-shirts. Yes! all of them in CSK T-shirts! The missing link to conclusively prove Mr. Srinivasan’s ownership of CSK has finally been found.

The only pictures Mr. Modi seems to have withheld are the ones that Ravindra Jadeja uses to get into the Indian team again and again.

A day later, the Julian Assange of Indian cricket was on TV with an ‘I told you so’ tone on the Kochi Tuskers’ exit from IPL saying he knew that the consortium didn’t have the financial strength for the long haul. A visibly fatigued and greyed Lalit Modi strongly defended valuation figures of IPL teams including Kochi Tuskers Kerala (KTK) who were bought at $333 million last year. Just for the record, Forbes’ list of football team valuations puts only 5 English Premier League teams above the figure KTK went for. Lalit Modi would like us to believe that KTK deserves a valuation figure higher than Manchester City.

Disrespectful to jokers
Mohinder Amarnath becomes a national selector 23 years after calling selectors “a bunch of jokers”. He spent his first few days on the job visiting circus shows around the country before deeply regretting his remark. “I think I was very disrespectful to jokers,” he said.

Sequel to RaOne
KKR sneaked into the Champion’s League thanks to some heroics from Dutchman Ryan Ten Doeschate. Soon after, Shahrukh Khan announced sequel to RaOne which will be called RaTen.

Bad news for singles
Bad news for all single boys and girls around the country. Gautam Gambhir is getting married. Somewhere in Karol Bagh Ishant Sharma sheds a quiet tear.

You can listen to the Fake IPL Player’s (Anupam’s) live alternate cricket commentary during match hours on www.pitch-invasion.in

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