Monthly Archive for November, 2011

Originally published in the Mirror Click here

Given my prophetic powers, if betting were allowed in India, I could make a fortune on two predictions.

1. Another fixing scandal is around the corner
2. Nobody will ever slap the ICC president

Prediction 1: Another fixing scandal is around the corner
Vinod Kambli has shocked us again. Not by his look this time, but by what he recently disclosed. Kambli feels the 1996 world cup semi-final match between India and Sri Lanka was fixed.

Noooo! Who’d have thought that? So what if it was played in the 90’s match fixing era, or if proven match fixers like Azhar, Jadeja, and Mongia were playing in it, or if crores were riding on that match, the thought that there was something amiss about that match never crossed our minds.

But the most unsurprising part of the ‘Kambli disclosure’ has been the BCCI’s reaction to it. “He is mad. He doesn’t know what he is saying. Matter close!” is the BCCI message, loud and clear. There’s no enquiry, no talking to players who played that match, no explanation from Kambli, no quoting of previous investigation reports. Nothing.

In his recently published memoirs, Outlook editor Vinod Mehta reveals that the then BCCI President Madhavrao Scindia was aware of Indian players fixing matches back in 1993. Mumbai top cop Rakesh Maria had intercepted telephone conversations between bookies and top Indian cricketers in 1994. Anirudhha Bahal had started investigating match-fixing in early 1997, the year Pradeep Magazine unraveled the bookie-cricketer nexus. Everyone knew, except the BCCI. Or, so they would like us believe.

The time bomb finally exploded in our faces in 2000.

In a world changing at supersonic speed, it’s heartening to see that the BCCI has remained unchanged. They continue to deal with situations exactly like in the 90’s.

Recently, Goa captain Swapnil Asnodkar offered a draw in a match they could have won. He was initially banned for two matches by the Goa Cricket Association, which was lifted soon after his apologized. The BCCI isn’t investigating the matter any further.

Earlier in the week, speaking with me on Internet radio station Pitch Invasion, Pradeep Magazine said that match-fixing murmurs have resurfaced with the advent of the IPL. He feels that young players getting sucked into the IPL glamour world are especially vulnerable to completely unregulated agents whose credentials and sources of money are unknown and suspect. Even Ajay Sharma, he recounted, first came in contact with bookie MK Gupta when he was 15, when Gupta shoved a 100 rupee note in Sharma’s pocket after the latter had scored a century in a DDCA club game.

Given that the decibel level of these murmurs is fast reaching the levels of the mid 1990s, and that the BCCI is being BCCI, I predict another major fixing scandal to hit us in the near future. And this time, the sport may not survive the jolt.

Prediction 2: Nobody will ever slap the ICC president
Oops!

Late News:
Harvinder Singh, whose palm came in contact with Mr. Pawar’s cheek, has caught the attention of the Indian selectors. “From what we have seen, he has a natural ability to find the sweet spot of the bat. He can solve our No. 6 problem in Australia,” one selector said. “Did you notice how he was pointing his knife at Mr. Pawar? This boy is definitely used to lifting his bat after scoring centuries,” another selector added while stroking his chin.

However, the incident has caused some grief to Virender Sehwag. He is ruing that he couldn’t paste a Sehwag International School sticker on the knife beforehand.

You can hear the Fake IPL Player’s live match commentary during match hours on www.pitch-invasion.in

Originally published in the Mirror Click here

Shocked to see empty stands in the Delhi test match? Don’t be. A gentleman who went to Ferozeshah Kotla has decoded the puzzle on a blog.

The gentleman and his wife drove 90 minutes to the ground only to be told that the parking was 5 kms away. After having parked, they walked back to the stadium to be told that the ticket counters were closed on the auspicious occasion of a Sunday. They were directed to a bank 3 kms away, stood in queue for an hour, and were compelled to buy a 5-day ticket for a stand where they won’t get tanned. Finally, just as they were entering the stadium, they were refused entry because the gentleman was carrying a lethal modern-day weapon of mass destruction. An iPad.

If you think the DDCA is responsible for this mess, you’re wrong. The real reason is that today’s cricket fan has become too soft, too pampered by modern luxuries and too influenced by what he sees on TV.

Let’s dissect the blog for finer details.

He writes in the second paragraph, “The plan was to get comfortable seats in a stand that serves good food and drink, so we could read the newspaper and chat, with occasional cricket interruptions”. Huh? He thinks he’s in Australia or what?

On being asked if he had “parking accreditation”, the gentleman accepted unfamiliarity with the term. He shouldn’t have transferred the blame of his ignorance on to the authorities.

The gentleman and his wife were also making jokes on the healthily built Delhi Police personnel calling them “Gatting-esque proportions”. Such objectification of the protectors of our law should be universally condemned.

Further, by complaining about being made to walk 16 kms he was being unappreciative of the DDCA who were just doing their bit to ensure our cricket fans remain as trim and fit as our cricketers.

Circa 1990s

To fully understand how soft we have become, we must compare this Kotla experience to the one I was used to back in the 1990s.

The adventure would begin 3 days before the match where 35,000 people would already be jostling for the 10,000 tickets available for the Students’ Stand, a situation that would kick in the Delhi survival instinct in us.

We’d help another group start a parallel queue. At an opportune moment, we would instigate an altercation between the main queue and the parallel queue. With tempers running high, chants of ‘Maaro…Maaro’ can quickly provoke one punch converting the altercation into a scuffle. A police lathi-charge and crowds running helter skelter would provide an ideal opportunity to find yourself close enough to the counter at a place that the police deems to be a legitimate queue.

On the day of the match, three hours before the toss, the queue would have almost reached Asaf Ali Road. A similar sequence of queue breaking, altercations, lathi-charge (this time by policemen on horsebacks), about 500 people falling over the pavement barriers, and a mini-stampede would follow.

If you’re smart enough, you would use this opportunity to get to the gate. You run in pushing and shoving those ahead of you, find yourself a place to sit and don’t leave it for the next six hours.

If you’re thirsty, spot someone with a cola bottle, offer him a place to sit in exchange for the drink, make sure you and your friends finish the bottle before laughing at the guy’s face when he asks for the return favour.

We have come a long way since then. The gentleman is complaining that he couldn’t take his iPad inside. We were thankful that we got out with our limbs intact.