Virat’s finger, the new research topic

Originally published in the Mirror Click here

Virat Kohli will now be known as Virat Ungli. Not because he has the longest finger in the world. But because he thinks he does.

“Why else would he be so keen to proudly display it to the world?” asked Darwinian sociologist Dr. Terryman Key, who took a break from his study on the common DNA strain between Sreesanth and Pattinson to explain to me how an obsession with size and public exhibition is a natural primate instinct.

Virat, in his short international career, has shown all signs of becoming an interest of study for Dr. Key.

“His usage of the finger makes him a unique primate and makes him deserving of a species title,” Dr. Key said. “And Ungli just feels like the right name for him.”

Despite his conviction on the discovery of the Ungli species, Dr. Key found some contradictions that even he couldn’t explain. Take for example Virat’s tweet after the act.

“I agree cricketers don’t have to retaliate. What when the crowd says the worst things about your mother and sister. The worst I’ve heard,” he had tweeted.

Dr. Key compared this with a specially edited package of Virat’s catches and dismissals, each of which was followed by expletives about one’s sister. “In my years of research, I haven’t come across any primate who couldn’t hear himself,” he said still shaking his head.

No sympathy
The man on the street isn’t sympathetic to Virat and feels that the defensive tweet was not befitting of a Delhiite. Gurgaon property dealer Balwinder Singh feels that Virat should have done something more “mardaana” like what Inzamam and Afridi had done.

At least something ban-worthy.

BCCI Unmoved
It’s hard for even the die-hard Virat fan to condone Virat’s act, as you can’t possibly be succumbing to every animal instinct unless you are a politician. And let’s face it, Virat is no neta.

So he must face the consequences like some other sportsmen have in the past.

In the 1994 FIFA World Cup, German midfielder Stefan Effenberg was dropped from the squad and sent back home after he showed the finger to fans at Dallas. He never played for Germany again.

The BCCI’s reaction has been as extreme as the German Football Federation’s, except that it’s at the other end of the spectrum. Forget any immediate punishment, there’s not even been a statement condemning the act or a show cause notice or an explanation from team management. Just dead silence.

To probe the BCCI’s view, I called up a couple of senior officials.

“There has been a very big misunderstanding. Virat had earlier seen both Ponting and Clarke raise their bats after reaching their centuries,” the official explained. “In this case, Virat had showed a great fielding effort after which he wanted to acknowledge the crowd. And, unfortunately, he had nothing in his hands other than his finger.”

The other official was far more pragmatic and believable. He said that the Board usually expects its players to respond to criticism by performing on the field. But that you will score runs or take wickets can’t be guaranteed. With the IPL and a packed cricket calendar, the board has been looking at ways of reducing each player’s workload.

“I think Virat did the right thing,” he said. “Why take the tough route when a simpler one is available?”

You can listen to the Fake IPL Player’s live audio commentary during match hours on www.pitch-invasion.in

2479 Responses to “Virat’s finger, the new research topic”


  • Hello, its fastidious paragraph regarding media print, we
    all know media is a enormous source of data.

  • http://emisorasabc.com/

    Have you ever considered publishing an e-book or guest authoring on other websites?
    I have a blog centered on the same topics you discuss and would really like to have you share
    some stories/information. I know my readers would enjoy your work.
    If you’re even remotely interested, feel free to send me an e-mail.

  • Thanks for some other magnificent article. Where else could anybody get that type of information in such
    a perfect approach of writing? I’ve a presentation subsequent week, and I am at the look for such info.

  • Woah! I’m really digging the template/theme of this website.
    It’s simple, yet effective. A lot of times it’s very difficult to get that “perfect balance” between user friendliness and visual appeal.
    I must say that you’ve done a amazing job with
    this. Also, the blog loads very fast for me on Safari.
    Exceptional Blog!

  • custom print t shirts

    Hello! Quick question that’s completely off topic. Do you know how
    to make your site mobile friendly? My web site looks
    weird when browsing from my apple iphone. I’m trying to find a theme or plugin that
    might be able to fix this problem. If you have any suggestions, please share.
    Cheers!

  • I really like your blog.. very nice colors & theme.
    Did you create this website yourself or did you hire someone to
    do it for you? Plz answer back as I’m looking to
    construct my own blog and would like to know where u got this from.

    thanks

  • SharieYHerrnandez

    I have to thank you for the efforts you have put in penning
    this website. I am hoping to view the same high-grade content
    by you in the future as well. In truth, your creative writing abilities has inspired me to get
    my own, personal blog now ;)

  • Wonderful blog! I found it while surfing around on Yahoo News.
    Do you have any tips on how to get listed in Yahoo News?
    I’ve been trying for a while but I never seem to get there!
    Thanks

  • MalissaYBrancati

    Good day! I simply want to offer you a big thumbs up for the excellent info you have
    right here on this post. I’ll be returning to your blog for more soon.

  • nail polish colors

    It’s difficult to find experienced people in this particular topic, but you sound like you know what you’re talking about!

    Thanks

  • wholesale nba jersey

    wholesale nba jersey Original real whklesale nhl jerseys fоr
    neԝ competition season cheap jerseys from china

  • Incredible! This blog looks exactly like my old one! It’s on a entirely different subject but
    it has pretty much the same layout and design. Excellent choice of colors!

  • Because the admin of this site is working, no doubt very rapidly it will be
    well-known, due to its feature contents.

  • Occhiali Da Sole Ray Ban Prezzo

    Write more, thats all I have to say. Literally, it seems
    as though you relied on the video to make your point.
    You obviously know what youre talking about, why waste your intelligence on just posting videos to your weblog when you
    could be giving us something informative to read?

  • hack criminal case download

    Playing is part of the child’s developmental growth.
    They are 5 with the characters you almost certainly didn’t take much note of during the course
    of the first Harry Potter book: Harry Potter and also the Sorcerer’s Stone.

    Then, about four minutes into extra time, Darren Helm put in the game winner over a rebound and that was all she wrote.
    At the time it was very novel and introduced a fresh style of game.

  • Heya this is kind of of off topic but I was wondering if blogs use WYSIWYG editors
    or if you have to manually code with HTML. I’m starting a blog
    soon but have no coding know-how so I wanted to get advice from someone with experience.
    Any help would be enormously appreciated!

  • watch despicable me online free streaming

    It’s genuinely very complicated in this busy life to listen news on TV, thus I simply use web for
    that reason, and get the most recent information.

  • design your own tshirts

    I feel that is one of the most vital information for me.
    And i’m glad studying your article. However want to statement on some basic issues, The web site
    style is ideal, the articles is in point of fact great : D.
    Just right activity, cheers

  • This paragraph will help the internet people for creating new
    website or even a blog from start to end.

  • watch minions online free

    Its like you read my mind! You appear to know so much about this,
    like you wrote the book in it or something. I think
    that you can do with some pics to drive the message home a little bit,
    but instead of that, this is excellent blog. An excellent
    read. I will definitely be back.

  • Aw, this was a really nice post. Spending some time and actual
    effort to generate a top notch article… but what can I say… I
    procrastinate a lot and don’t seem to get nearly anything done.

  • I love it whenever people come together and share ideas.
    Great blog, keep it up!

  • I read this piece of writing fully on the topic of the comparison of most
    recent and preceding technologies, it’s awesome article.

  • top eleven tock hack

    I have read so many content regarding the blogger lovers except this paragraph is genuinely a nice post, keep it up.

  • I have to thank you for the efforts you’ve put in writing this website.

    I’m hoping to check out the same high-grade blog posts from you in the future as well.
    In truth, your creative writing abilities has
    motivated me to get my own site now ;)

  • http://tinyurl.com/pg6gozo

    naturally like your website however you need to check the
    spelling on several of your posts. A number of them are rife
    with spelling problems and I find it very troublesome to tell the reality however I will certainly come again again.

  • Clash of Clans Hack

    Hey! Do you know if they make any plugins to protect against hackers?
    I’m kinda paranoid about losing everything I’ve
    worked hard on. Any suggestions?

    My webpage Clash of Clans Hack

  • An interesting discussion is definitely worth comment.
    There’s no doubt that that you should publish more about this topic, it might not be a
    taboo subject but typically folks don’t speak about such issues.
    To the next! Cheers!!

  • AlfredoVAlquisira

    Great work! That is the kind of info that should be shared around the net.
    Shame on Google for no longer positioning this publish upper!
    Come on over and seek advice from my web site . Thank you =)

Leave a Reply

*