Of Munaf’s confidence and Vijay’s travails

Originally published in the Mirror Click here

Just because you’re not watching it, doesn’t mean that you should miss out on all the fun that’s been on in this year’s IPL. Barely nine days and a dozen matches into it, the tournament has already thrown up some star performers.

Here’s this week’s picks.

1.Munaf Patel
When Mrs. Nita Ambani said that Mumbai Indians is like a family to her, Munaf Patel seems to have taken it far too literally. Munna’s been behaving like his father earns 5% of India’s GDP.

Tu jaanta hai mera baap kaun hai?

In the game against Deccan, he bullied and terrorized the umpire into referring a decision to the third umpire, and kept ranting about it as if he would have left the ground taking his bat, wickets and ball if Sangakarra wasn’t given out. He was docked a percentage of his match fees, but looking at the grin he sports these days one would assume it counts for nothing.

Other than that, Munaf has been brilliant in the two matches he’s played at Wankhede under the watchful eyes of Bobby Darling. He took a diving catch, the kind he doesn’t even attempt when he plays for India, and is now proudly wearing the purple cap, which should do his looks a world of good.

2.Murali Vijay
Murali Vijay, this season, has a completely different look about him. Gone is the swagger that carried him from that lone century in 2010 till the dropped sitter of 2011. Gone is the cockiness of the man signaling the world to shut up after taking another sitter.

This season, Vijay has the same look that Dinesh Karthik and Abhishek Nayar wore last season – a look of desperation.

At the opening ceremony, he looked like a school kid being punished. Little did he know that the real punishment was to come later.

Vijay started by running out his partner in the first game. Was clean bowled by a little known left-arm spinner in the second. Was runout without facing any ball in the third. And, in the last match he showed that there are batsmen who try to hit their way out of trouble and there’s Vijay who stays right there.

Vijay doesn’t seem an appropriate name for him at the moment.

3.Ravindra Jadeja
At the start of the season, everyone wanted to know how the $6 Mn man would do. Generally, he’s lived down to the expectations India cricket fans have off him. Except for that one match against Deccan, the franchise that drove CSK to a tiebreaker over him.

4.Yusuf Pathan
Over the years, Yusuf Pathan has built a reputation of someone who feasts on IPL’s substandard bowling and fails at the international level. He’s been desperately trying to change that.

This season promises to be the one when he finally sheds that reputation by failing even in the IPL.

5.Piyush Chawla
Plates of rajma-chaawal drop on the floor more elegantly than Piyush Chawla did while attempting a back peddled catch in his opening game.

Yo Piyush

Other than this blooper, Chawla has tonked a couple of sixes, been tonked for few more and has generally lived up to his Wikipedia page description.

“Even though Piyush Chawla got lucky in the warm-up matches of the world cup, he showed his true bowling quality in the real World Cup. He played only 2 matches because his bowling was extremely pathetic. His participation in the World Cup was due to a new government policy that requires at least one idiot to be part of the team.”

This paragraph has been removed from Wikipedia due to factual inaccuracy. There’s no such government policy in place.

You can hear the Fake IPL Player’s live commentary during match hours on www.pitchinvasion.in

746 Responses to “Of Munaf’s confidence and Vijay’s travails”


  • …brilliant as usual, but I thought Bhajji should have featured in this piece. No ?

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  • It was like Munaf had gone out his mind….. Killing the tag of the Game “Gentleman’s Game”

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