Nehra, the potface
After the game against Punjab, which can only be described as an insomniac’s dream come true, Pune Warriors tried to make it up to fans by sending in Ashish Nehra for the press conference. And the move didn’t disappoint.
Like a non-tutored candidate at an IIM interview who blames everyone except himself for his graduation scores, Nehra blamed everyone from Uthappa to Ryder for their loss.
“Our fielding cost us the match,” said the legendary fielder. It’s unlikely that a blacker pot has ever called a kettle black. On a scale of absurdity, this would rank somewhere close to Arjun Rampal blaming others’ acting for his flop films.
To give him credit, though, Nehra put his vast international experience to good use in the next match. He took Pune’s suspect fielding out of the equation by allowing batsmen to hit him straight out of the park. Not once, not twice, but thrice.
As Nehra often says when trying to look smart, “No bamboo, no playing flutes”.
He looks every bit a thinking man’s cricketer and a thinking woman’s teddy bear. And now he has his teammates to validate this perception.
In a survey amongst CSK players, most said that Ashwin would have made a better engineer than a cricketer. “Of course he would. An engineer doesn’t need to run after engines, does he?” one of them said.
“Well, a cricketer doesn’t need to run after crickets either,” Ashwin replied.
A darker future
No water, polluted air, violence all around, and memories of IPL’s opening ceremony. That’s the world we are leaving the next generation of cricket lovers with.
And, while we had inherited players like Dravid, Ganguly and Kumble to hero-worship till we reached the age of cynicism and senility, we are leaving the next generation with Ravindra Jadeja.
Already in this IPL, Jadeja’s scored two 40s, taken a Michelle, snapped up a rampaging Gayle, and hit the winning boundary off the last ball of a match. And, he’s also managed to look crap while doing all this. Now that will take some beating.
Showing all the signs of a future star in the same mold as Ravi Shastri and Ajit Agarkar, Jadeja is sure to play for India for another ten years by managing the delicate art of a decent performance every time he’s on the brink of being dropped.
My sympathies are with the 18-year olds who’ll have to endure him for the foreseeable future.
Money can indeed buy you love
Bollywood taught us wrong. Remember those movies where the hero throws wads of money back on the girl’s father’s face saying ‘Mera pyaar daulat ki bazaar mein bikaoo nahin hai Singhania saab’? That’s bullshit. Money can indeed buy you love.
Take Kevin Pietersen for example. This is what he said in a recent interview.
1. “Delhi is my favorite city in India.” Replace Delhi with Bangalore and you’d be redirected to his interview a few years ago when he was with RCB.
2. “Delhi has a great stadium.” Yeah, right. Those stands that were intended to look like a bird in flight but ended up looking like outstretched arms of an obese man do make a great stadium.
3. “Delhi has great owners?” What? Really? Those Meru cab drivers seen sitting on the owners’ couches during Delhi matches?
A reluctant Pietersen leaves the IPL midway to join his national team for a test series.
So KP, the move from South Africa to England doesn’t feel that smart anymore, does it?
Off-spinners have lost it
What’s up with India’s off-spinners going off the boil?
First Bhajji argued, threatened and intimidated the umpires in the match against Deccan as if his owner was the richest man in the country. And later, his off-spinning competitor Ashwin went finger wagging at Steve Smith as if his owner also owned the BCCI. Oh wait…